Photoset
May 22, 2012
1 note

There is something about the ocean that calms me……..
Maybe it is the beauty that can be so gentle, but in the same time be so rough and horrible. It is unpredictable. You cannot control it. It is not something you can hate. But rather admire.

This past weekend I found something so magical that I cannot put into words. A simple walk on the beach turned out to be something so incredible. A gift from nature. I wanted to catch the early morning breeze and look for sea shells, but instead found something much better.

After a coffee and a croissant from the Engen down the road, we headed out to Muizenberg. The weather was not looking good. It was cold and rainy! Freezing actually.

We waited for the sun to come and warm the sand. Even just a little bit. We knew what was waiting for us outside the car….the freezing cold air. After struggling a bit with this thought in my mind, we got out and started our walk. The sand was  cold. It was like stepping on small little blades of glass. Each one cutting you bit by bit. We walked a long way but could not find any shells that we were looking for. We turned back. To the left was the ocean, and to the right the mountains. I will never be able to live in another place again, I thought to myself! If I can’t be surrounded by this beauty, I can’t be surrounded by anything.

There was a storm across the ocean. It was heading our way. I could see the darkness. It must have been really rough out there. To the mountains side it was sunny. It looked happy.

And then as we stared at this picture forming in front of us, a little rainbow started to form. The beauty of a rainbow. A symbol to some. To show that there is always peace after a storm.

The rainbow stretched her 7 arms of color. Stretching further and further! And suddenly she made a portal! The brightest full rainbow! So clear! It was almost like someone was messing with my mind, and throwing buckets of paint into the air on nature’s canvas. It was big! The portal now shining brighter than I have ever seen! “Maybe if I start to run, and run through it, it could take me to another world.” Maybe if I waited long enough, a dragon will come out and fly me off to another world. 

And then my portal closed. My mind back in reality. For a slight second I felt sad. Sad that it went away. And sad to think that not everyone could wake up to a magical morning like this, and experience what we just did.


(i wish you were there)

These are the things that matter.

That keeps my life going. (for you sometimes)

That makes me imagine, and question. That makes me love. (that makes me want to love you more)

That makes me wonder in my own mind. That makes me want to dance. That makes me want to breathe. That makes me want to care. (more for you) That makes me want to laugh. That makes me want to stay. (stay with you)

These are the moments that money cannot buy. 

It is a beautiful thing. (you are, write it, keep it)

(I wish you knew…)

Photoset
May 06, 2012
2 notes

I have been sent away to a magical world for 5 days at the Afrika Burns festival. A place where time stood still and a place that felt so normal….

We headed out to Tankwa Town early in the morning. There is something about driving that clears my mind. That relaxes my soul. As we drove further and further away from Cape Town, I could feel my worries getting left behind. All I had now is the road, and the excitement that awaits me on the other side.
After stopping to get our last water and snacks, we hit the dirt road. “Be careful..” they say, ” this road eats tires for breakfast!” I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. At this stage we have lost all signal. All contact with the outside world. What is waiting for me on the other side? It was a mystery as this was my first time at Afrika Burn. 

We drove really slow on the tire eating dirt road and finally reached the gate! “WELCOME! TAKE A DEEP BREATH! YOU ARE HERE!” I could see all the colorful tents! And I knew that I was going to have the time of my life!

Afrika Burn is about kindness, love and giving. 

As we set up our tent, a hail storm hit us. It felt like it was the biggest storm to ever hit hit the Karoo! We were digging trenches the whole day in the rain trying to save our tent. Our neighbor helped us and gave us a shot of his grandmothers alcohol afterwards for our hard work.  (I am not sure what it was, but it made me warm and it felt good)

After a whole day of rain, hail, mud and madness the sun finally came out! All around the campsites I could suddenly hear people making music, thanking the sun, singing and laughing! Finally she showed her face! And it was magical! I could feel nature! It was like she kept an eye on us to see what we can achieve in her storm, and she finally rewarded us with rays of sunlight! 

That is how my journey started. And what happened next cannot really be put into words. We walked around the campsites everyday, we saw amazing sunrises and sunsets, we met the most amazing and beautiful people. We chilled, listened to music, attended a wedding. We received so many gifts from strangers! Gifts of sound, gifts of art, oranges, ice cream….WOW! Our lovely neighbors gave us two whole cooked chickens from Woolworths- That felt like a kings meal after eating on nuts and dried fruit! I felt overwhelmed by the kindness and the love that I have experienced!

I realized that there’s still kindness in this world. And that there are still lots of good people out there. People who feel like me! We are all just trying to save the world one small step at a time. And we always do it with kindness in our hearts. 

Afrika Burn is about kindness, love and giving.
Before I left for Afrika Burn, I felt like I should give up on people. But this 5 days has given me a magical gift. One that I will treasure for the rest of my life! A gift that I will carry around with me everyday! It has made me stronger and I feel a power that I cannot explain. A realization that things are not always as bad as I make them out to be.

I would like to thank Afrika Burn for an amazing time! Thank you to all the artists, thank you to all the organizers and volunteers! Thank you to all the people! Thank you for all the love and the kindness! And a BIG thanks to my friend who kind of forced me to go with her! Thank you for being you! You are a true gift in my life!

So long burners, until next year!
 


Photo
April 19, 2012
I sat on the bench over looking the whole of Cape Town tonight. My eyes wondering over the city. The old man moving two chairs outside for him and his wife. The guy skateboarding down the road. The silly bird screaming for its friends next to me………Over on the far side something caught my eye…. to the right of Lions I saw orange flickers of a veld fire. The city started to look smoggy and the fires started to burn the life out of the mountain. The city lights started to fade away and I suddenly felt alone. Not being able to see clearly….I then started to wonder about the flames. Does a flame represent life? On the Survivor reality game show, when you leave the tribe, your flame gets killed and you have to leave ” The tribal council area immediately!”. But then on the other side when someone dies, we lit a flame at their funeral to represent that their life still carries on. Even though they are no longer with us? This light has been bugging me. What does it mean? And in what Light do I see it?If you have a rough day at work you will always say “i’m putting out fires here”! (Well that is maybe more of an Afrikaans saying)I have a burning inside of me. Getting stronger and stronger! This flame has been put out once by someone, but now this is all I have that keeps me going. My small little flame growing bigger and bigger! I hide it! I build wind shields around it, making sure that it keeps completely still. I chase away the rainy days, for they will not let my flame die! I have learned through some hard times that my flame needs to be protected. And the only person that can save it from it from the storm is me! I have trusted others to help me protect my flame, but they always seem to blow the flame slightly away from me. And then it takes me ages to get it burning again. I guess this quote by Eckhart Tolle is so relevant to me. My suffering flame has become my light. It guides me on the path that I want to be. It burns in me and I will not let anyone put this light out ever again! It is hidden away far away where nobody will ever reach it. Nobody will ever hurt it. Maybe one day I will show this light to someone again….We all need to find our light…..and keep it close, hidden far away from the storm….. 

I sat on the bench over looking the whole of Cape Town tonight. My eyes wondering over the city. The old man moving two chairs outside for him and his wife. The guy skateboarding down the road. The silly bird screaming for its friends next to me………Over on the far side something caught my eye…. to the right of Lions I saw orange flickers of a veld fire. The city started to look smoggy and the fires started to burn the life out of the mountain. The city lights started to fade away and I suddenly felt alone. Not being able to see clearly….I then started to wonder about the flames. Does a flame represent life? On the Survivor reality game show, when you leave the tribe, your flame gets killed and you have to leave ” The tribal council area immediately!”. But then on the other side when someone dies, we lit a flame at their funeral to represent that their life still carries on. Even though they are no longer with us? This light has been bugging me. What does it mean? And in what Light do I see it?
If you have a rough day at work you will always say “i’m putting out fires here”! (Well that is maybe more of an Afrikaans saying)
I have a burning inside of me. Getting stronger and stronger! This flame has been put out once by someone, but now this is all I have that keeps me going. My small little flame growing bigger and bigger! I hide it! I build wind shields around it, making sure that it keeps completely still. I chase away the rainy days, for they will not let my flame die! I have learned through some hard times that my flame needs to be protected. And the only person that can save it from it from the storm is me! I have trusted others to help me protect my flame, but they always seem to blow the flame slightly away from me. And then it takes me ages to get it burning again. I guess this quote by Eckhart Tolle is so relevant to me. My suffering flame has become my light. It guides me on the path that I want to be. It burns in me and I will not let anyone put this light out ever again! It is hidden away far away where nobody will ever reach it. Nobody will ever hurt it. Maybe one day I will show this light to someone again….
We all need to find our light…..and keep it close, hidden far away from the storm….. 

Photo
April 04, 2012
Lost on a planet somewhere between confusion and reality….. I find myself craving something. I am not sure yet what this is but it is a feeling that is buried deep within me. Kicking and screaming to come out! My life has been a roller coaster this past year and looking back I can actually truthfully say that I am doing quite OK! I guess that, as weird as it might seem, I have to thank my past! If I was still stuck in the same place I was a year back, I would have probably started to run around with a spoon trying to kill myself! But now I am free. Free from something that held me back for a long time. But still there is something bigger that I am craving.Could it be love? Passion? Hope? Not too sure about all these things. I seem to want to love. But when I look at my life I do have things that I love. I have great friends and family and my peach. (This peach is still a huge mystery to me…)I guess when you reach my age you start to realize that you don’t have a freaking life manual! And your world is probably not what you expected it to be. But then again you ask yourself is it really something that you wanted?  Sometimes I sit back and wonder WHAT THE……..? But then again I need to stop trying to save the planet! I guess what I am trying to say to myself through this post is that I am OK! Even though I am lost on a planet between confusion and reality……my craving will come when I need it to come. And life will carry on for now. Just breathe!  

Lost on a planet somewhere between confusion and reality…..

I find myself craving something. I am not sure yet what this is but it is a feeling that is buried deep within me. Kicking and screaming to come out! My life has been a roller coaster this past year and looking back I can actually truthfully say that I am doing quite OK! I guess that, as weird as it might seem, I have to thank my past! If I was still stuck in the same place I was a year back, I would have probably started to run around with a spoon trying to kill myself! But now I am free. Free from something that held me back for a long time. But still there is something bigger that I am craving.
Could it be love? Passion? Hope? Not too sure about all these things. I seem to want to love. But when I look at my life I do have things that I love. I have great friends and family and my peach. (This peach is still a huge mystery to me…)
I guess when you reach my age you start to realize that you don’t have a freaking life manual! And your world is probably not what you expected it to be. But then again you ask yourself is it really something that you wanted?  
Sometimes I sit back and wonder WHAT THE……..? But then again I need to stop trying to save the planet!
I guess what I am trying to say to myself through this post is that I am OK! Even though I am lost on a planet between confusion and reality……my craving will come when I need it to come. And life will carry on for now. Just breathe!  

Photo
March 14, 2012
I had a recent experience that not only left me shocked, but also very heartbroken… I flew up to Johannesburg for work and stayed with my lovely sister. One afternoon we went to the shopping mall. Our car was parked outside close to big black dustbins and we got some Soft Serve. It was such a hot day that we couldn’t drive home as our ice creams were busy melting. So we stood by the car in the heat and decided to finish our ice creams before we head back home.As we stood there, a big ass fancy car pulled up next to us. Out came a guy with a few empty cans in his hands. We were both looking at this guy. He walked right up to the bins and threw the cans right next to it! LAZY ASS RICH GUY!I stood there amazed! I couldn’t believe how one person can just not give a shit! After a while, I decided to walk up to the bin, and actually throw the cans away. As I did this, our lazy ass rich guy friend saw what I was doing. He started swearing at me! Told me to leave him the F*** alone and who do I think am I for doing this! I mean really? Is this what this world is coming to! You get crapped out for just being a caring human being? I just looked at him and in anger I told him that he he is obviously very rich but he doesn’t really know what this whole thing means!I guess by telling you this story what I am trying to say is that there is a BIGGER PICTURE here. We are all living on a tiny little planet that we call home. We happen to be here and share this world. So WHY can’t we as people live together? What does it really take to be kind? Or to care? There are endless things going on at the moment….Sometimes we think that we have a perfect little world that we live in. A world where nothing will ever happen to us. A world where we try to play God sometimes.  Your life is not about YOU! This life is not given to you to stroke your ego! In that moment when i picked up those cans, I realized that people suck! This life is not about me and you! About having a perfect relationship….or living in your perfect mansion! This is about all of us. Trying to live together in the time that has been given to us.What I would love for you to do tomorrow, is just to be kind! It will not cost you anything! It breaks my heart when people act like this planet owes them something! Hell, we owe this planet SO MUCH don’t you think…? She has kept us going for so long. We should be thankful for her!I leave you with this quote I read the other day:” Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle…”  

I had a recent experience that not only left me shocked, but also very heartbroken…

I flew up to Johannesburg for work and stayed with my lovely sister. One afternoon we went to the shopping mall. Our car was parked outside close to big black dustbins and we got some Soft Serve. It was such a hot day that we couldn’t drive home as our ice creams were busy melting. So we stood by the car in the heat and decided to finish our ice creams before we head back home.
As we stood there, a big ass fancy car pulled up next to us. Out came a guy with a few empty cans in his hands. We were both looking at this guy. He walked right up to the bins and threw the cans right next to it! LAZY ASS RICH GUY!
I stood there amazed! I couldn’t believe how one person can just not give a shit! After a while, I decided to walk up to the bin, and actually throw the cans away. As I did this, our lazy ass rich guy friend saw what I was doing. He started swearing at me! Told me to leave him the F*** alone and who do I think am I for doing this! I mean really? Is this what this world is coming to! You get crapped out for just being a caring human being? I just looked at him and in anger I told him that he he is obviously very rich but he doesn’t really know what this whole thing means!

I guess by telling you this story what I am trying to say is that there is a BIGGER PICTURE here. We are all living on a tiny little planet that we call home. We happen to be here and share this world. So WHY can’t we as people live together? What does it really take to be kind? Or to care? There are endless things going on at the moment….

Sometimes we think that we have a perfect little world that we live in. A world where nothing will ever happen to us. A world where we try to play God sometimes.  Your life is not about YOU! This life is not given to you to stroke your ego! In that moment when i picked up those cans, I realized that people suck! This life is not about me and you! About having a perfect relationship….or living in your perfect mansion! This is about all of us. Trying to live together in the time that has been given to us.

What I would love for you to do tomorrow, is just to be kind! It will not cost you anything! It breaks my heart when people act like this planet owes them something! Hell, we owe this planet SO MUCH don’t you think…? She has kept us going for so long. We should be thankful for her!

I leave you with this quote I read the other day:

” Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle…”



 

Photoset
March 03, 2012
Photoset
February 19, 2012

Some new pieces

Photo
February 19, 2012
My peach  My peach has been growing on me……and I find this to be a little bit of a problem. I have this burning feeling inside of me. I want to cut myself open and just let go. But for some reason I can’t. Not yet…. It is scary when you know that you are starting to love something that you cannot hold, or have, or feel. You just want to let it breath out and capture each breath into a little jar where you can keep it forever! I am becoming so inspired by the beauty that surrounds me everyday…..and I am starting to crave my peach even more……. Maybe one day my peach will know exactly what it is……and we will figure it out. But for now I just love the feeling that it is giving me. I feel blessed, and thankful and happy. This happiness that I have been longing for for so long has finally awakened! I crave my peach even more….. Here’s to you peach! xxxx

My peach 

My peach has been growing on me……and I find this to be a little bit of a problem. I have this burning feeling inside of me. I want to cut myself open and just let go. But for some reason I can’t. Not yet….

It is scary when you know that you are starting to love something that you cannot hold, or have, or feel. You just want to let it breath out and capture each breath into a little jar where you can keep it forever! I am becoming so inspired by the beauty that surrounds me everyday…..and I am starting to crave my peach even more…….

Maybe one day my peach will know exactly what it is……and we will figure it out. But for now I just love the feeling that it is giving me. I feel blessed, and thankful and happy. This happiness that I have been longing for for so long has finally awakened! I crave my peach even more…..

Here’s to you peach!

xxxx

Photoset
January 31, 2012

This is my own creations…….photos are my like my little digital tatoos….

Put on your colours…..and wear your passion………..

Photo
January 22, 2012
This is me We would all like to know exactly who we are. Where we belong. Where our lives are heading. But if you knew all of that…..would it still be an adventure? I feel like I am constantly in a social battle with the universe! When I go out, or chilling at the pool there is always a little voice that says…….you suck!! And now I say screw you little freaky weird voice in my head! Screw you! If people cannot like you for you then why waste time to even care! But girls will be girls. We are filled with emotion and we think with our hearts. NOT with our heads like we should be doing. For some unexplained reason that was not part of our design. Sometimes you get stuck in a situation and it is like your body is floating beside you saying….OMW! Did you just say that! Well guess what, I just did!  Socially it is hard to get acceptance…. You are constantly fighting in your own mind. Does he really like me? Am I cool enough for this crowd…..blah blah blah! If you feel like a freak sometimes….I think that is normal? Well world here you go. This is me:  I am the kind of girl who falls in love with a beautiful picture. I write songs on my guitar and keep them for myself… (and dream of hitting a big record deal someday!) I try to keep life simple, love people for who they are. I believe that hugs can cure the world. My favorite sweets are M&M’s. I am always late for everything. I care easily. I get scared. I think too much. I am in love with the ocean. My favorite animal is a Koala. I love beads. I love writing old school letters. (Not these silly text messages that you don’t even understand). I am obsessed with nature. I believe that we will someday find a planet that is filled with trees. I think that Star wars is boring and has the worse acting ever. I would love to go the moon someday. I am bad at maths. I read a book for a few months. (Not like those crazy people who can read a book in a few days!) I love nature. I think that technology is killing us. I hate doing dishes. I hate doing laundry even more. I try to be the best for everyone. I leave you with this: Never let anyone get you down. Always dream BIG! Eat lots of fruit! Be thankful for every second of your life! Have fun! Play! Laugh! Treat everyone with respect! Learn from your mistakes! And remember, we are all part of this insane asylum called earth!  xxx

This is me

We would all like to know exactly who we are. Where we belong. Where our lives are heading. But if you knew all of that…..would it still be an adventure?

I feel like I am constantly in a social battle with the universe! When I go out, or chilling at the pool there is always a little voice that says…….you suck!! And now I say screw you little freaky weird voice in my head! Screw you! If people cannot like you for you then why waste time to even care! But girls will be girls. We are filled with emotion and we think with our hearts. NOT with our heads like we should be doing. For some unexplained reason that was not part of our design. Sometimes you get stuck in a situation and it is like your body is floating beside you saying….OMW! Did you just say that! Well guess what, I just did! 

Socially it is hard to get acceptance…. You are constantly fighting in your own mind. Does he really like me? Am I cool enough for this crowd…..blah blah blah! If you feel like a freak sometimes….I think that is normal?

Well world here you go. This is me: 

I am the kind of girl who falls in love with a beautiful picture. I write songs on my guitar and keep them for myself… (and dream of hitting a big record deal someday!) I try to keep life simple, love people for who they are. I believe that hugs can cure the world. My favorite sweets are M&M’s. I am always late for everything. I care easily. I get scared. I think too much. I am in love with the ocean. My favorite animal is a Koala. I love beads. I love writing old school letters. (Not these silly text messages that you don’t even understand). I am obsessed with nature. I believe that we will someday find a planet that is filled with trees. I think that Star wars is boring and has the worse acting ever. I would love to go the moon someday. I am bad at maths. I read a book for a few months. (Not like those crazy people who can read a book in a few days!) I love nature. I think that technology is killing us. I hate doing dishes. I hate doing laundry even more. I try to be the best for everyone.

I leave you with this: Never let anyone get you down. Always dream BIG! Eat lots of fruit! Be thankful for every second of your life! Have fun! Play! Laugh! Treat everyone with respect! Learn from your mistakes! And remember, we are all part of this insane asylum called earth! 

xxx